As i begin to scribble in this coveted webpage where many a wonderful successful lives have been woven from scratch,i can’t help but introspect myself.
As Paulo Coelho has wonderfully put it in “Its very difficult to accept the things we deserve without guilt”.i plead guilty to that.It’s very difficult to embrace the feeling of success or to take that final step in your journey when you’ve had a lot of failures.You can yell it to the world that you wanna win and conquer but deep in your heart,you know that “you” aren’t meant for victories,you aren’t meant to hold them glorious trophies,you just know that you aren’t cut out for that top brass. you’ve always been playing second friddle to someone or other.You’ve always been that student in school with grades not as good as the topper but nonetheless nowhere near them dumb kids.you’ve always been good at sports but never as confident to pursue it as a career,nonetheless passionate enough not to do away with it altogether.You are me if you’ve always been that kid who could have had ” “…………
Every now and then there are things that reignite that foregone fire or that long lost passion in you and in no time you find yourself making loud empty promises to yourself in front of the mirror.But just as quickly your eyes flare up with shallow hopes,it fades away with the same swiftness. Many a time you find yourself abased,situations abhorrent and pledge to make it all right but every such time,your real self storms through and just like a pendulum,you are back at your-loser-self in absolutely no time.Your fickleness pays way to escapes,the i-didn’t-really-want-it-anyway dialogues and the diffidence/self doubt in you takes you to the realm of excuses and well we all know how helpful are excuses in any regard.
Failure is like a disease but being grinded in between success and failure is like an epidemic for the soul.It keeps eating you from inside and doesn’t even cause death.It makes you feel(at times)that you have it in you to touch the sky and in the very next moment pushes you to rock bottom.
It’s a constant battle between who you always have been,who you are and who you want to be.
FEEL FREE TO CRITICIZE.
#”you” referred to in paragraphs is an effort to generalise,abate abstrusity.
#not an anecdote.