They are one of the most dangerous, deceptive and devil species to have ever walked on earth. They look like us, live among us but a word of caution; they may not be us. They are renowned for their ability to convert even a subordinate clause into an argument and then drag you into it. You can try practising all the known methods of avoiding a conflict namely avoidance, accommodation, competition, compromise and collaboration; but you are likely to fail every time. They have mysterious spells and powers which when summoned lure you into an argument and suffocate you to a state of self-induced anger. First they befriend you, then they laugh with you, then they fight you, then they win.
Following are some situations where you are likely to be most vulnerable to a vulture attack. First on the list is a sports telecast. If you are a religious follower of at least one sport and like watching it sitting on a couch with friends, you have all the reasons to worry. Such social gatherings are often the breeding place for an argument. Next on the list is social media. Your favorite party has won the election, favorite striker has scored a hat-trick or your favorite movie has been nominated for an Oscar, if you commit the blunder of falling in the trap of “What’s on your mind”, you are a goner.
In the above situations what is common is the modus operandi. The most popular method which the vultures employ is that of poking. They enter into a conversation with you uninvited, and poke you with their sacred hymns and pious verses about the non-existent topic till you commit the grave mistake of responding. If you have responded and are not one of Arnab Goswami or Digvijay Singh, then your chances of escape are as high as that of KRK deleting his twitter account. Come what may, but you will inevitably get sucked into an argument and succumb.
My research and personal experiences show that ignorance is the best medicine which can be used to fight the vultures. But to practice ignorance, you should be able to demonstrate a very high level of self control which is a rarity in today’s world. You should be willing to let go of your ego and be prepared to be branded as a fool who is not connected and does not have opinions. This is a herculean ask since all sane people are supposed to have some opinion about everything. You can also try the laughter therapy, if you are not afraid of being called a lunatic. All you have to do is to laugh frantically, with every point and counter point that is made in the argument. This often riles up the vulture and makes life more difficult but if you are really lucky, it might occasionally force the argument to end abruptly.