Yesterday at a college reunion party, I met my old time friend. In wee hours of morning, after a few pegs down, he told me three things, which appeared to me as true as Newton’s Laws. I’ll narrate them to you :
“I’ll explain u the basic structural difference between the two systems of marriages..
1) In case of love marriage, u first fall in love (freely, naturally & unconditionally). Then it leads to marriage which is the right culmination for a journey of true love – uniting two individuals and two souls. Whereas, in case of arranged marriage, u marry first and then fall in (or try your best to fall in) love with the person you married. You are never sure whether your love was free, natural and unconditional or not – as u already found yourself engaged/married to the girl whom you love now. U will never come to know whether you would have still loved the same girl had she not been engaged to you.
2) In case of love marriage, there is an entire process of winning of hearts. U begin from scratch when u are a nobody to her. Then u prove urself better than so many others trying to impress her, and eventually, slowly and gradually carve out a space for urself in her heart and then win it completely. In case of arranged marriage, she is already yours. Boy, u are given a launch pad and escape velocity; u just have to keep going to reach the moon. U will still reach the moon, but u’ll never know whether could have done the same had a launch pad not been given to u. Whether she would have still given her heart to you if she had a choice to not to give.
3) There is a kick in love marriage. In case of love marriage, you fall in love despite being afraid of strict parents, social acceptance, and so on. So much so that sometimes you find entire world against you, yet you cant stop falling in love with her. And when you do marry her, you have a sense of achievement and pride. In case of arranged marriage, things are provided to you on a platter. You fall in love because you are supposed to and not because you didn’t have any other option but to fall in love.
Bas yahi yaar.. The castles of love built in an arranged marriage and a love marriage can look equally beautiful.. par arranged marriage wale pyaar me wo ek baat missing hai… we will never get a chance to marvel at its foundations..”
I don’t know what he told was correct or not, par uski baat me dam to hai.. Origin of any feeling is the most vital part.. And whether the origin of your love was pure and selfless can only be judged by looking at its foundations.. And foundations is where, my dear friend, Love Marriage wins. Undoubtedly.