Selling Pagalguy as an advertising/marketing medium to b-schools is not only an enriching experience but also an entertaining one. This is because before you actually get to meet the person in charge of buying advertising for a school, you have to battle an entire battery of people from receptionists and telephone oeprators to security guards and personal assistants and make a sales pitch to them as well.
The following are real experiences from my job of selling advertising space on PaGaLGuY to b-schools, the hilarious instances that made me realise that no matter how great the product, I had to sell myself first. Hopefully, my experiences will give those MBAs majoring in Marketing an overview of the things to come.
Where: Greater Noida
When: August 2009
This was my first telephone call to this college in Greater Noida. Here goes,
Me – I am calling from an MBA website. Could I speak to the Director please?
R (receptionist): Regarding?
Me – This is ‘regarding’ (over the months I have realised that regarding is a favourite word with telephone operators and receptionists so I use the word wherever I can) the various branding options on the website that I would like to discuss with the Director.
R – Which website?
Me – Ma’am, PaGaLGuY.com!
R – Oh, what company? Regarding?
Me – PaGaLGuY.com! It’s India’s largest MBA website.
R – Dekhiye aap yaha dobara phone mat kijiyega. Ladkiyo ko pareshaan karna hai to Nehru college ke bahar jaao (and she slams the phone).
I realised she was not too well-versed with the MBA scene and I should re-look the way I make the next sales call to her. But that I could do later. For now, I just needed to speak to the right person in that school. I dialed a different number mentioned on the website, but unfortunately it went to the same person and the college had a foolproof plan ready for me. Here’s how my second attempt went, just a few minutes later,
Me – Hello, could I speak to someone who handles marketing or branding at the institute?
R – You just called, Didn’t you? I told you not to call.
There was a pause for a few seconds and I realised she was handing over the phone to someone else. Soon enough a male voice came on the line (lets call him R1).
R1 – Koun bol raha hai , tumhare ghar me maa behan nahi hai kya? Yahan ladkiyon ko call kar ke pareshaan karte ho, hain? (Whos that on the phone? Why are you harassing the ladies here by calling them?)
I had little choice but to disconnect the phone then. I sometimes wonder about such b-schools. They are supposed to be creating MBAs but they cannot differentiate between serious callers and pranksters. What on earth did I say that made them feel I was one of the latter?
I realised with that call (which was six months into my job) that receptionists were indeed the most powerful people in b-schools. Everything — be it administrative work or just a call — got routed through the receptionist or in some cases the telephone operator.
For instance, in another college, the receptionist asked me about the advertising options available on the website. Zapped at the question coming from the her (she was actually supposed to transfer the phone to somebody senior), I shot back, Who is the decision maker?
To which she replied, I am.
I didn’t exactly know what to say thereafter, but yes, I did make the sales pitch to her. At the end, she said she would get back to me and she never did. After a few days, I did get to the Director of the school, though not through the ‘receptionist’ route.
Where: Gurgaon
When: August 2009
At another b-school, I was waiting in the guest room for the Director to call me in. After waiting for about 30 minutes, I asked for an update from the receptionist.
Me – Ma’am, did the Director call or send a message ‘regarding’ the meeting.
R – No.
Me – Can you please ask him again?
R – No, he’ll not reply to me.
Me – But, why?
R – Because he is a man of few words!
The receptionist said that with a deadpan face so I realised it was not supposed to be a joke. But that line beat me. I did not know what to say after that and just sat waiting.
Where: Greater Noida
When: July 2010
Big, burly security guards with flashy moustaches are a common fixture outside business schools in North India. Like receptionists, they are also tough nuts to crack and one’s meeting with the concerned officials in the b-school often depends on how one can sweet-talk the securityman outside. These guards are usually taught to not let even a housefly in without an appointment and this they do with great gusto.
Sometimes, if I schedule a couple of appointments at a location, I also go knocking on b-schools in the same vicinity which are not on my list. That’s when security guards come into their own. This is how a typical sales call at security gate goes, the product sold being my entry beyond the gate.
Security guard (SG) – Kya chahiye?
Me Dr XYZ se milna hain (I always research the name of the Director and take his name to make it seems like I am serious and have done my homework).
SG Kyon?
Me Baat karni hain.
SG Kaisi baat?
Me Advertisement ke bare mein.
SG Kis ke liye?
Me Mere company ke liye.
SG Kya naam hain aapki company ka?
Me Pagalguy.com.
SG Kya?
Me Pagalguy.com
SG To aapko Director sahab hi kyon chaihiye?
Me Theek hai. Agar Director sahab busy hain to, jo koi aur advertisements dekhta ho, woh bhi chalega.
SG Acha, to ek sahab hain (takes the name of some other person), par woh aaj office mein nahin hain, to aap kal aa jao.
Me Unka number milega?
SG Arey, humare paas unka number kahaan. Tum office ke number pe call karo aur pucho.
This conversation usually continues for a few minutes more and after that it’s usually a battle of nerves between my persuasive powers and the temperament of the security guard.
In fact, these little impromptu interview sessions with security guards actually remind me of my MBA days and components of the placement process, which were as tedious and lengthy. The only question that no security guard ever asked me was Why MBA? (though frankly I feared one day they’d ask me that as well and I wondered what I would answer). Asking for permission at the gate, I would often feel like that guy who might standing outside 10, Janpath seeking a meeting with Sonia Gandhi.
Where: New Delhi
When: June 2010
The End-of-Admission-Season is the best time to contact a private business school for advertisements! The admission process is officially over but there are still empty seats. So what’s the best thing the b-school would do? Advertise!
It’s a bountiful time to visit b-schools, especially those who were not too keen to advertise earlier and now feel that they are the best and the only option available for aspirants countrywide.
To explain this better, I give you a hypothetical situation (often a real one too). Say, your best pal is in a relationship with a girl that you secretly admire too. But she considers you to be only a ‘good friend. Then, one day the girl comes crying to you after finding that her boyfriend (and your pal) is actually two-timing her. And she needs a shoulder to cry on. Who else’s but your shoulder! That esctatic moment is the one you have been waiting for to now make an entry into her life and win her over.
This is exactly the situation at the aforementioned variety of b-schools at that time. Just the right time for me to make my pitch.
I was having a discussion with the Admission In-charge of a b-school, let’s call it MII, Patiala. Before I deliver my sales pitch, I like to discuss industry-esoteric issues with the officials to keep a nice tempo going. This includes general small-to-medium-talk about the admissions scene, the weather, the rising prices of tomatoes, etc.
An MBA aspirant walks in that moment and submits his application form. The application form has questions like Why MBA?, Where do you see yourself after 5 years?, What are your strengths, weakness, etc.
The students submits the application form to the Admissions In-charge sitting right across the table from me and hence I can clearly read whats written on it.
In the blank for Strengths, the aspirant had written, Have too many strengths. Future of mine is full of my strengths.
And under Weaknesses, the answer was (I quote verbatim, so excuse the bad English), Weaknesses will not be effecting in my future and in my strengths.
Realising that I was going to burst out into a loud laugh (which I controlled by twitching my face), the embarassed official called the aspirant closer and explained to him the meaning of the columns and gave him examples. These examples got me even more choked. I thought I was going to die since I could not laugh but yet wanted to laugh out loud.
Official – Beta, please fill your strengths. Like say hardworking, early to bed, early to rise. Kuch bhi likho. And similarly for weakness, write anything, write nail-biting as a weakness if you want but write something.
The aspirant left the room nodding obediently, though I got the feeling that he had not understood a single word.
The official then told me, We have no choice. We’d have to admit him too.
The author is an MBA from the Vinod Gupta School of Management, Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur and has worked with PaGaLGuY.com’s Sales and Marketing Department for over two years.
If you’ve had similar funny experiences during a sales and marketing stint, do share them in the comments!