Many a times before mock interviews I decide to be myself just to keep my nerves in control and do justice to an age old cliche, which is usually found written on T-shirts, “I am what I am.” But as soon as interview starts I realize that I have too little a knowledge of my subject to influence the interviewer, I couldn’t have been basketball or volleyball player despite my height, my academic marks are poor enough to compel panel of any decent B-School to curse the prevailing education system, and unfortunately I haven’t discovered any country nor liberated any from a repressive regime.

In the absence of any noticeable achievement, window dressing is the only option I have to resort to. Here’s how things usually go:

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Heart says: I am Ashish. I have done my schooling from XYZ. I hate studies since the day my parents coaxed me into sitting in prep class. I have few extra curricular activities but certainly not of national importance. I have been blogging since 2011 but most of my articles have been ridiculed as futile and frivolous. I have done my B.tech in CS stream, which was the biggest blunder of my life. What I learnt in 4 years of my engineering is how to make rings out of smoke of hukkas, how to leapfrog firewall to make complete use of Internet, how to complete course in 3 hours straight and networking which helped me getting few questions, going to come in mid-terms, out of the mouth of faculty. I had a great fun in my Engineering but CS has had given me many sleepless nights.

My hobbies are sleeping and watching adult comedy movies like American Pie. I had also spent endless hours watching Big Bang Theory and playing Counter Strike.

I Say: (The typical memorized answer)

Interviewer: So, you like watching movies. Hmmm… Have you seen any french movie?

Heart Says: French? I watch Hollywood movies with subtitles.

I Say: No (with-all-due-respect smile).

Interviewer: Which is your favorite subject in Engineering?

Heart Says: English, Environment education, and few others subjects that Rosy madame taught.

I Say: Operating System.

Interviewer: What is round robin scheduling?

Heart Says: What the hell!!

I Say: When there are series of jobs waiting to be done then OS schedules these jobs acco…

Interviewer: (Interrupting with A ridiculing smile) Have you heard about Bitcoin? What is it?

Heart Says: Oh man! I wish I had read that boring article in yesterday’s newspaper.

I Say: Bitcoin is a substitute of real currency and… (continuing by capitalizing on anything that is coming across mind)

Interviewer: Why MBA and Why this institute?

Part 2:

https://www.pagalguy.com/news/am-not-am-2-a-18550459/

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