“Baba Troubleshoot” has a long legacy of solving even most complex of the problems that celebrities face. Baba Troubleshoot is also adept at predicting future and he fails lesser number of times than opinion polls do. Common man had no access to Baba until recently but thanks to Arvind Kejriwal there has been slight change in policies after taking into consideration the importance of an Aam Aadmi. Baba has decided to provide his non-celebrity followers with transcript of his conversations that takes place in his Darbaar every Sunday.
Transcript:
(*Darbaar is at its best with the presence of some of the most talked about celebrities of recent times who have come all the way to seek blessings of their beloved saint-cum-adviser.
Sanju Baba is the first to get hold of microphone.)
Sanjay Dutt: Baba, I got another parole but people have started opining that I am getting special treatment owing to the fact that I have political connections. Baba, I want to know, do I stand a chance to get another parole in near future as I have to complete third installment of Munna Bhai, which has already been shot till Interval?
Baba: See, you are the only freelance prisoner I have ever seen. Don’t worry about getting paroles. Your political connections would never let Manyata recover as long as you are in jail, if you know what I mean. Complete the shooting of Munna Bhai as people would be bewildered seeing their hero grows 7 years older while they were having samosas in Interval.
Anushka Sharma: Baba, in hindsight, I committed a crime by appearing in Karan Johar’s talk show. When will jokes on my lips would stop circulating social media?
Baba: Once a princess had kissed a frog and turned him into a prince. This time, a prince has kissed a princess and turned her into a frog. What can I say? (Baba is facetiously alluding to her alleged affair with Virat Kohli).
Anushka Sharma: No baba. Nobody kissed me. It is just touch-up that made my lips like what they are now.
Baba: If this is the work of touch-up then i bet, Late yet Great Mr. Jackson’s nose was the work of touch-up as well. As far as jokes are concerned, they will not last. Nothing lasts in India. Not even Aam Aadmi Party.
Rahul Gandhi: Has UPA any chance of winning Lok Sabha Polls? Can I be the next PM of India?
Baba: What is your vision?
Rahul Gandhi: To change the system and empower wom…
(Baba interrupts)
No you can’t win elections. Sit down. And never ever say Women Empowerment again. Refer to some good political science book and then you would come to know about a few good terms. Try implementing those to your political manifesto and speeches. But for god sake stop saying ‘system’ and ‘women empowerment’. Appearing for another interview will be like last nail in the coffin of Congress so refrain.
Nirmal Baba: Recession has finally struck our field as well. Asharam Ji, the torch-bearer of FPI (Fooling People Industry), has been sent to jail along with his son Narayan Sai. I was on the brink of tasting jail’s food but escaped. What are my future prospects?
Baba: As long as people do not find panacea to all their worries, which is highly improbable, this industry will flourish. These people want someone to listen to them. Doesn’t matter whose party forms Government, there is no end to problems and if there are problem then people will seek solution no matter how weird these solutions are. Looking at inflation, start giving cost-effective suggestions.
Ekta Kapoor: Will Ragini MMS 2 be a hit at Box-office? It is actually sequel to Ragini MMS 1, although we have just changed entire cast, director, crew-member, and everything except production house.
Baba: Selling an MMS for 200 Rs. that is featuring Sunny Leone is certainly a brave attempt. Your movies will be block-busters as long as you continue spending more on advertising than on films. One of the song is already rocking the charts ensuring bumper opening to Ragini MMS 2. Add 2-3 item numbers if you can. Don’t worry about scripts. Do Rohit Shetty’s films have scripts? No. Look at their collections. Also, do not forget to buy a few stars from critics before film-release. Pay visit to some temples. I don’t know whether God cares about films but getting featured on Newspapers, carrying your news of visit, would certainly be an added benefit.
After letting his followers get rid of their issues, Baba is all set to leave.
*End
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