It has
been a journey of three years, three long years to be honest. I always wondered
whether I would get a chance to pen down my thoughts on this sacred thread,
this wonderful page that has motivated countless souls(yours truly included)
and has always pushed people further to think “yaar koi na, ek aur attempt to
banta hai, I know I can do this!!”. I still wonder whether I am worthy of this
sacred thread but I am bound by my conscience which tells me that I had
promised it I would visit this page when the time would come.
The clichéd beginning
I was in the final year of my Engineering
College. I still remember our teacher had organized a seminar wherein she had
called three seniors, three seniors who had aced three separate exams: CAT,
GATE and GRE. All three of them told us about what we could do for higher
studies. However, by the time I was in fourth year, I was pretty sure that I
was not that interested in either Electronics or Computers, and so pursuing an
MBA seemed the logical way forward. I have
two friends ‘P’ and ‘G’, who had attended that seminar with me. Both of them
have, this year, graduated from IIM C. Preparations were set afoot for CAT2012
and I joined the TIME AIMCAT series as a
step in this direction.
The year of our CAT,
2012
I still
remember my first AIMCAT experience. I went to the exam hall thinking that a few
Math and English questions couldn’t possibly trouble me, and add to this the fact
that ‘P’ had told me, the day before, that the paper was extremely easy,
especially the quant part. Next week Monday,
the results were out and I scored a 78%ile, ‘P’ scored a 99+%ile and ‘G’ scored
in excess of 98.5%ile. As it turned out, I was in the presence of not one, but
two Gods. ‘P’ was a quant God and ‘G’
was a verbal God. Many friends had
attended this AIMCAT and all of them had scored in excess of 90%ile. I was
devastated. I thought that the debacle had occurred because it was my first
AIMCAT and that I would gradually get better at it. I religiously solved all TIME
books over and over and I also solved, in parts and pieces, Arun Sharma and Quantum Cat. But no matter how
much I studied, I never crossed the 90%ile mark in those damned little vexatious
papers. I kept losing my confidence as the days rolled by, inasmuch that I
remember asking ‘P’ once after an AIMCAT whether I should just give up on the
entire thing and do an MS instead. It seemed to be the easy way out. However, I
knew that I would never be happy with what would follow after I did an MS. I
kept solving quant problems. I had faith that hard work wouldn’t go unrewarded.
The only thing that I never really did in that year was, I remember, read
books. Yes, I thought that verbal was based solely on luck and that I couldn’t
really quantify my improvements as I could with quant and so I kept solving quant
day in and day out, entirely ignoring verbal.
Soon D-day
arrived. I was nervous but I was hoping for a miracle to happen. Both ‘P’ and ‘G’
had given their papers on days before mine and had attempted a lot of
questions. I thought if I was to get a score anywhere near them, I must make
attempts similar to what they had made. I distinctly remember I attempted 24-25
in quant and 25 in verbal out of a max possible 30 in each. The result day of
CAT 2012 was one of the worst days of my life. Not only had I failed to reach
the 95%ile mark, let alone the 99, but the success of all my friends contrasted
so viciously with my utter failure that I had a complete breakdown. I failed to
comprehend what I had done to deserve such punishment. At 4 in the morning, ‘P’
called. He scored 99.32. Others
friends called at regular intervals of 1 hour each. ‘S’ called at 5. He scored 99.16. ‘Pr’ called at 6. She scored 99.03. ‘Bh’ called at 7. She scored 99.38. Finally, at 8 I got to know that
‘G’ had scored a whopping 99.94. Yours
truly had scored a pathetic 93.9 OA with
a 95.91 in quant and 84.04 in verbal.
The year had been a resounding failure. The only silver lining was the lone IIM
Shillong call. Back in 2012, Shillong used to shortlist candidates based on
profile and the call was a reassurance that I had the profile, and I only
needed the percentile. I skipped the Shillong interview. (I don’t know what
prompted me to take that decision then. Shillong will always be special as it
was my first call.)
The year of our CAT,
2013
After the
setback, I remember having discussions with a close friend. Both of us were
determined to improve our profile. We decided to give the CFA level 1 exam as a
step towards achieving this result. After months of preparation, I sat in the
exam hall, and told myself, just as the exam was about to begin, that I could
not fail in two consecutive exams. Fortunately, the exam went well. After a
period of one month, I got to know I had cleared the exam. My joy was unbound.
Now, all my efforts were directed towards
cracking CAT 2013. I came to realize that getting into a good institute was
going to be no mean feat. Regardless of what these coaching classes claimed in
all their facts and myths, I would have to give my 200% this time round to make
it through. Luckily, the date of my joining was postponed by two months and I
was ready to study for more than 8 hrs in this period to make up for the time
deficit that would occur afterwards, once my job started. To be honest, I was
not at all keen about working and getting into a good MBA institute was all I
dreamed of. Meanwhile, ‘P’ and ‘G’ got admitted to IIM C, ‘Bh’ to IIM L. I
studied like a dog in that period of two months.
Come
September, I started my job. However, all I could think about was cracking CAT.
It would not be an understatement to say that it had become an obsession.
Within a couple of months, I would be face to face with the feline again, this
time doubly motivated to kill it. As it turned out, CAT 2013 was one the
hardest papers I ever came across. I could attempt only 15 in quant and 16 in
verbal. I walked out of the exam hall feeling dejected and defeated. The feline
had got the better of me, again! Damn her! Afterwards, at work, I also got to know that I
would have to shift base to Bangalore. I had never stayed outside my hometown
and I was extremely depressed about the whole thing.
It was in this period of depression that, in
January 2014, CAT results were out. I
had scored an unbelievable 98.52 percentile. I know that it is no big deal, but the result, while expecting less than 90
percentile, came as a pleasant surprise. XAT’14 results were also out in two
weeks and again, I got a 98.59 percentile. I saw this as an opportunity to cut short my stay at Bangalore and
started the interview preparations in full swing. I was shortlisted for SPJIMR-Fin,
XL BM, IIM Indore, FMS and the new IIMS. I kept telling myself that I would be
out of Bangalore in 5-6 months max.
A day before shifting base to Bangalore,
I had my SPJIMR group Interview at Mumbai. GI 1 was my first interview and it
was a complete disaster. The interviewer called me to his side and asked me to
interview the candidates for him. Afterwards, he asked the others to ask
questions to me. If all this wasn’t preposterous enough, in the end, he told me
to choose two candidates to go to the next round! I thought, what in the name
of God is going on??!! The interviewer didn’t ask me any question apart from
TMAY! I knew I was not going to the second round, but afterwards, I was aghast
to know that all six of us were rejected!! I always thought I would get SPJIMR due to my
profile (CFA et al). All that ended in 15 minutes and I was indignant at the
whole process. Next day, I caught my flight to Bangalore, depressed. Such is
life.
My next
interview was for XLRI BM. Work was hectic and I could find little time for
interview preparation. My Business Division head was a very fickle minded person
and used to change release dates for my project at the drop of a hat.
Unfortunately for me, his latest whim had pinned the date of our next release
on a day that was 3 days before my XL BM interview. I was underprepared and I
knew it. XL professors know when a candidate is underprepared, and they make
sure that the candidate too finds out how underprepared he really is, in a span
of 10 minutes. I started out well but the interview soon turned into a
disaster. I always knew that at 98.59, XL BM was going to be a tough nut to
crack but after the interview I kept fooling myself to believe that there was a
chance.
I was never
really interested in the new IIMs, but thought, oh what the hell! I might as
well get some interview experience. Also, as the interview was in Mumbai, I saw
it as an excuse to visit my hometown, Pune, which I had longed to visit for
many months now. There was absolutely no pressure for this interview and it
went exceedingly well. In a period of four days, I was back in Bangalore,
carrying out the drudgery of life.
It was around
this time that I had started getting bored of my job. Frequent releases,
coupled with interview preparation had completely exhausted me for days without
end, and as I was not that into coding, doing something which I didn’t like for
eight hours a day resulted in a decent amount
of frustration. IIM Indore was up next but it was after a period of two
months. I was extremely determined to not screw up this interview. Luckily,
there was no release during that period and I was going to leave no stone
unturned in my interview prep. The interview went well and I was able to answer
all questions the interviewers asked save one. I was desperately hoping for a
convert. I don’t know why but I had always thought I would end up at Planet I.
I always knew
that getting shortlisted for FMS at my percentile was a big deal. FMS had some
administrative problems that year and the interview dates had been postponed,
inasmuch as all of them were after my IIM Indore interview. I knew that at
98.52, I would have to pull off a miracle to get a chance to study at the red
building of dreams, but I was desperate and desperate times call for desperate
measures, and so I studied, yet again, like a dog, but threw it all out of the window
when, in the interview I could not speak
on the extempore topic “Capital Markets” as, much to my chagrin, I didn’t
recollect the term in spite of studying about BSE, NSE, SEBI,NYSE, Nikkei etc.
and being a candidate who had cleared the CFA level1 exam. The topic was changed
to “The effect of the 2008 financial crisis on India” and I spoke about the
entire crisis, its origin, its mechanics, its effect on the US economy,
everything in that one minute save its effect on India. I was outside the room
in 8 minutes. Bye-bye FMS.
When the
interview results started coming out, I felt much dejected when I learned about
my rejects at XL BM and FMS but I knew they were always going to difficult to
convert. All my hopes were pinned on that single IIM Indore result. I had
converted a few new IIMs but I knew those converts were inconsequential, as I had
never intended to study at the new IIMs. The day IIM Indore result was out I
was working for a release. At around six o’clock, I read on PG that the results
were out. I prayed to God and opened the Page. I was waitlist 140. I knew a waitlist
140 would never convert. That day I cried. I know men don’t cry, but I didn’t
care. I cried because what I had waited for hadn’t come in two years, I cried
because I had let down my mom and dad and everyone who had stood by me, and
last but not the least, I cried because I was a complete failure, yet again.
The year of our CAT,
2014
A new season led to a new start and I had a
feeling this year would be the year. I had failed once at the written exam step
and once at the interview step, but this time I felt I would get them both
right. However, after having failed twice, I had started to become skeptical
about the entire MBA process. The uncertainties even after getting a decent score,
and the uncertainties even after having a good interview made me look at what I
was doing from a practical perspective. Most of my friends had already moved up
in the world by either completing their post graduate studies or getting admitted
to various post graduate programs. I had always wanted to do an MBA but
somewhere I knew that I was running out of time. I decided I would write the
GRE exam after CAT.
I also realized
that I had ignored the other aspects of my life, my hobbies, what I loved most
for the past two years in an attempt to completely immerse myself in the
preparation process. I sensed all this was wrong and could not go on. I started
going to the gym whenever I found the time and started to run every morning. I
also started playing football on Fridays. I also went on different treks with
my friends. Soon the mock season started again and so did the grind. I made a comprehensive
plan of study to make sure that there was no chink in my armor. I could not
fail, not this time. I also remember that I started praying around this time,
asking God to give me a decent college which I could go to. Now when I look
back, the two years in Bangalore have taught me a lot and have made me a better
person than what I would have ever become staying in the comfort of my home. I
owe a lot to Bangalore and my friends there.
Different versions of my project kept
releasing at office but I knew that nothing could be used as an excuse, not
this time. I was lucky enough to have my efforts at work recognized by the
senior management and to receive the “Superior Performance Award”. I would work till 7 or 8o’clock in office and
then head back straight to the study table. I would have dinner quickly and then
sit from 9 o’clock till 12 and sometimes till 1 o’clock everyday just with a
dream in my heart and a clear aim in my mind. Somehow, I had developed a liking
for CAT over the years and this made the grind bearable. Solving sums and
reading books at night actually gave vent to all the anger and frustration that
occurred throughout the day. The days kept rolling on and before I knew it, I
was face to face with the feline for the third time.
CAT’14
marked the change of testing agency from Prometric to TCS, of 60 questions to
100 questions and of depth to speed. I could manage to attempt 76 questions, which
were more than I had attempted in any mock that season. When I walked out of
the exam hall I was full of hope, but after I came back and saw the attempts
people had made on PG, I started to get mixed feelings. IIFT was scheduled on
the next day and I screwed it up thanks to the difficult quant section and my
inability to let go of it. (Later I realized that I had completely skipped the
DI section and there were quite a few sitters there). XAT’15 was similar to XAT’14
except for the quant part. Quant was very difficult and after the paper I knew
that my chances of getting a XL BM call could be jeopardized due to the quant cut-off.
I also gave NMAT before CAT and scored a 220 (98.761 pt.) and gave September CMAT
and got a 99.59 percentile. I also got 328/340 in GRE.
I knew that December
’14 would change my life. On the day of the
CAT result, I was sitting in my room, as I had during the CAT’12 result, waiting.
The results were out at 5o’clock and I kept refreshing the page. Finally when the
page opened, I quickly downloaded the result pdf. No sooner had I opened the
pdf and viewed the result than my heart sank. I had scored a paltry 96.42 percentile with 91.14 in quant
and 97.71 in verbal. I couldn’t believe that after serving me well for two
years, quant had failed me. I knew my dream of getting into the best MBA
colleges was over. I told the result to my dad and even though he didn’t show
it, I knew he was deeply hurt. I had failed again. F**k! XAT’15 results were
released in the 3rd week of Jan and I scored a 98.25 pt with 88.65 pt in quant. I’d applied only to XL BM. My XL
dream was over.
The only
calls I managed to get were SPJIMR-Fin, NMIMS, MDI, new IIMs on my CAT/XAT/NMAT
score. This time I was not going to screw up SPJIMR, come what may. I made a fat
notebook and wrote down answers to everything an interviewer would ask me:
myself, my goals, my job, why this, why that, everything. That and reading
newspapers of the week before the interview helped me to gain a lot of
confidence.
My SPJIMR
GI1 was based solely on Finance questions. After last year’s SPJ interview
debacle, I was so glad that it was a traditional I ask you and you answer me
interview. I answered all (and I mean all) the questions that the interviewers
had asked me. After the interview, I sat and prayed. Soon enough, the
coordinator arrived and took my name along with the name of a few others and told
us that we were through to the next round! I couldn’t believe it. I told myself
that now nothing could stop me from getting into SPJ. GI2 went by like a
breeze. All my other interviews except MDI went well too.
It
was when I was going to pay the fees for the first year of NMIMS that SPJIMR
released their results. I got to know that converted people were getting called
on their phones and I hadn’t received a call till then. I thought that I had
somehow failed again. When I opened the portal to check my result, I could not
believe my eyes. I was waitlist 2! I knew I was through! This was the moment I had
been waiting for since 2012. Years of pain and hard work had finally borne
fruit! God had finally listened to my prayers! I immediately told my Mom. She
was overjoyed and so was Dad. I had finally not let them down. Life after this
result was as smooth as one could wish for. I played football more often, went
on many outings with my friends, watched an endless number of movies and resigned
from work!
A twist in the tale
My notice period started and I was all set to
join SPJIMR. My dad however, had always had this thing for JBIMS. I have an
elder cousin brother who has graduated from the institute too. This and the
fact that my friend needed someone to give MAH MBA CET with him resulted in me
giving the CET. It was when I was watching the movie “NH10” that I got to know
that I had scored a 99.993 pt in the
exam. I think this happened because of the fact that I had absolutely no
pressure whatsoever to do well in this exam. The only thing that stood between
me and JBIMS now, was the GDPI. Studying for GDPIs was not new. The prep went
off like clockwork. A few days before the interview I got to know that I had
dengue. I was running high fever but I knew that this was a once in a lifetime
opportunity to get into JB. So, I went to the interview nevertheless. The
interview went well and I was satisfied with my performance. I soon became well
again a couple of days after the interview.
On 3rd June I went for a run. When
I came back I was completely exhausted. There were a few rumors doing the
rounds about the result getting released that day itself. The result had not
been out when I came back from my run. Days of fatigue and exhaustion took a
toll on me and I slept at 9pm itself that day. I don’t know why but at 4.30 am
in the morning my eyes just opened up automatically. I remembered that
something important was going to happen. Then it hit me! The result! I went to
my laptop and as it was booting up I saw my smartphone next to it. I picked it
up and turned it on. I saw the word “congratulations” at many places in my
notifications. When I opened Whatsapp, there were quite a few messages
congratulating me for getting into JBIMS. I couldn’t believe it. I checked on
the website to make sure. I was through!!
Pardon me for any grammatical mistakes that
might have happened, this is the first time I have written anything like this.
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