Third week into the deadlock and tensions in the city were simmering. As media had reported, truthfully and otherwise both that so far nothing had come out of the negotiations. Noodle,the clown still won’t perform. It was unprecedented, after having thrilled the public for past thirty years, he just up and declared that he won’t be performing anymore, “not for this rascally public anyway” were his exact last words. He has not spoken a single word nor entertained any guest to his pup tent which seems to be his entire universe now. The soul of town was shivering and my job was at stake as usual. This was second time in as many days when boss had threatened me with consequences if I do not bring one solid piece of news or interview. I had no idea where to start and would be eating boiled potatoes today had I not seen two utterly incompetent police constables trying to help a young boy retrieve his helium gas filled balloon from the parapet of hospital building where they were posted. The solution as ever escaped the hands of law so I decided to go for an interview from the police force.
I marched to the office of D.I.G. the highest earning officer of my city. He was free and said “it’s about time, isn’t it ?” when I asked if he was ready for an interview.
me: So how are you going to handle the crisis in city ?
D.I.G.: well we have asked to increase the number of CAT examination centers.
No, I am asking about the sudden retirement of our clown.
I will not say that it is a crisis, I suppose you forgot 2003 ?
What about that ?
The leaked CAT paper of course. God! what kind of rubbish journalist you are, no homework or what ?
But I am talking about something else not CAT.
What else is there ?
Sir, with due respect, city is heading towards a complete administrative failure, at the last count people said they were less happy today than yesterday. People are at a loss to speak, their vocabulary has failed them.
You know what is a failure ? failure to crack CAT four times in a row.
Did you fail four times ?
I never said, I did.
But you are a DIG now.
So what, does it hurt less? NO (grimaces). I wish we had normalization in our time. Boy, everyone gets a 100%ile now. Why did I fail ?
No sir, not everyone gets a 100 and I understand now. So, are you going to ask other cities for help ?
As if it works ? Nobody shares all their shortcuts easily, after a point you have to buy the premium packages.
Of clowns ?
Of mocks. Where is your brain? I suppose you are an unsaturated failure, absolutely no exposure. How much did you score in MAT by the way ?
With due respect sir, I am not a MAT person.