Believe it or not common sense in so uncommon. Last Friday I was asked to perform master of ceremony for a CSR event, which was scheduled on next Monday. Well, a CSR event has nothing to do with actual CSR but for those who are new to this acronym – let me impose my understanding upon you. CSR stands for Corporate Social Responsibility; basically a gimmick by most corporates think-tanks to save some taxes in the name of public welfare.
In any CSR event you will find lots of corporate heads, a lot of booze and an orchestra; irrespective of what the tagline at the entry gate says ,you will get to hear this opening monologue – “As responsible citizen of this country ,it is our duty and moral obligation that…”, over and over. Some of you must be wondering why booze??? While rest are more tempted than ever to attend any such event from now on. To tell you the truth, booze is there to numb your senses before the local orchestra takes the centre stage and it is needless to say why.
So I was asked to perform master of ceremony for one such event. It was not nothing new; I had my opening speeches ready from last event so I humbly accepted this request. Yes it was a request as I don’t drink and definitely not a party animal either. Everything was just fine till a strange order bamboozled me; I was asked to wear my company’s corporate tie by my Asset Manager for this event. Our corporate tie is of sunflower yellow colour and I hate it since I had laid my eyes upon it. I tried to come up with excuses for not wearing it but all in vain. Since I had two more days to think of new excuses, I didn’t argue much.
Next two days, Sunday & Saturday went like bliss and not even once I had any thoughts about my yellow tie situation. While I was late for Monday Morning Meeting, some wise guy had suggested that our whole department should be dressed in blue. No one objected as this idea was harmless to everyone but me and I wasn’t there. On my way to office I received a text saying” You are cordially invited with your family for this-that event and officers are requested to be dressed in blue formal.
Finally it was 6 PM and people started to pour in for the event where we as Team Blue stood for their reception. Some guest kept their views to themselves while others openly laughed at us for wearing the same exact blue. Well, frankly, I too was baffled by the same question, “Who bought these shirts and why”. In midst of all this humiliation I conjured up enough strength to pass on my views to the Asset Manager but he was too busy to give a damn about it.
It was time for my opening speech and I had to wear a yellow tie and a black suit over my blue shirt. I took the centre stage and to lighten the mood I tried to crack few subtle jokes in between but the response was too loud. It felt as if crowd was mocking me and probably it was. Then I invited the Chief Guest to address the gathering. He started by thanking one and all for their presence and in the end he added “I would also like to congratulate the team dressed in Blue for this arrangement”. He thought our team was hired by my company HR for taking care of seating arrangements, booze and Orchestra.
Every remark about our dress code made it difficult to bear the next one. While I was praying for an invisible cloak the real tragedy was about to present itself. I came up with a plan to visit the orchestra members backstage in the name of explaining the flow of events for the rest of the evening. As I entered the backstage I saw a beautiful girl practising a song. I, instantly, removed my tie and suit and approached her. I gave her the usual instructions and asked if she had any doubts. While I was at it, she, hesitantly, asked me a few innocent questions “From where did you get this Shirt and Tie??? How much they are paying you for this event??? Don’t you know you people are looking like Bandwalas???. I wanted to express myself but instead chose to take a deep breath and moved on…